“Love is all I got,” she says. Barnett has cared for her great-granddaughters, 22-year-old Deja Ryan and 18-year-old Sammeria, on and off since they were infants.

Working two jobs and attending church very time the doors open, Barnett laughs off the idea of getting old. “I will raise these girls as long as the good Lord gives me life and lets me keep my health, “ she says. “I will see it through.”

Like Barnett, many Americans raise their grandchildren. Legal arrangements vary. Some have adopted grandchildren to tap into benefits and services, others function as legal guardians, and still others parent with the informal approval of their children. No matter what the circumstances, veteran single grandparents say you can “see it through” like Elwanda Barnett — if you know what to do. They shared these secrets to success:

Play with your grandchild. Play counterbalances the discipline needed in childrearing. Play also builds strong bones — and strong buddies.

Maintain a positive attitude and healthy lifestyle. Read uplifting material, tap into things that make you laugh. Protect leisure time. Carve out several hours a week for exercise. Eat nourishing meals and snacks. Enjoy uninterrupted time with peers. As you take care of your needs you will be better able to care for your grandchildren.

Provide for your grandchildren. Irene Endicott, an author who has written about grand parenting issues, says the most significant monetary help for a grandparent raising a grandchild comes from Aid to Families with Dependent Children. “You may apply for funds, which vary from state to state, through your local social services department,” she says. “If you have legally adopted a grandchild, you may also be eligible for Social Security benefits.”

Coming up with creative ways to make ends meet from other sources takes hard work. But the act of providing material needs communicates security to kids. One grandmother works an extra job to pay for her grandson’s medication, and another sews her granddaughter’ school clothes. Tap into your creativity.

Get support. Regardless of your grandchild’s background and struggles, you need encouragement, prayer and practical or legal help from others. When times get tough, the assurance that an individual or group will support you may make the different between failure and success. For a list of support groups in your area, visit the AARP website and check the Grandparent Information Center.

Finally, remember to be gentle with yourself. If your child has made some poor choices and you now take care of your grandchild, you may battle doubts about your ability to parent. But armed with the truth and some additional help, you will do a wonderful job.