Dialogue — The Key to Family Harmony

Dialogue often gets others to think something through a little more than they have before. Therefore, dialogue not only lets you understand a person better, but it also helps others understand themselves.

Dialogue brings up questions people have not thought about before.

Dialogue brings up questions people have not thought about before. This helps them to grow and change.

For example, when a teenager says it is not important to clean his room more than once a month, dialogue questions can get him to think this through, even though he would rather not.

In place of the lecture you have repeated so many times, ask questions like the following in a dialogue sort of way (innocent, curious, not judgmental):

• “Do you think we might need those dirty dishes in your room?”
• “What is your theory about what happens with the germs that grow on those dirty dishes in your room?”
• “Why do you think we have less illness than in poorer countries?”
• “What will you do when you want to wear something that is dirty and crumpled on your floor?”
• “Are you going to pay for laundry soap and wear and tear on the washing machine to wash just one item at a time for the privilege of not picking up your room on a regular basis?”

— Dick Wulf, MSW, LCSW

Dick Wulf is a professional Christian counselor, psychotherapist and clinical social worker with over 37 years of experience. Formerly the program director of the Pikes Peak Mental Health Center in Colorado Springs, Dick is the author of Find Yourself — Give Yourself and the Family Conversation Tool Kits.

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On This Topic

• Introduction • Why Dialogue? • Dialogue Must Be Safe and Even Fun • Dialogue Is Not Discussion • Dialogue Gets People Thinking • An Example of Dialogue • Dialogue Helps You Solve Problems • Guidelines for Dialogue • More Hints for Good Dialogue