Well, maybe it’s not that bad. And it definitely doesn’t have to be. Writer and speaker Lisa Whelchel — most recognized as Blair Warner from the sitcom “The Facts of Life” — has some ideas to smooth out the holiday bumps. As the home-schooling mother of three children (ages 9, 10 and 11), she has plenty of practical advice.

Problem Discipline

“When we would go to a relative’s house for the holidays, we really couldn’t discipline with spanking,” Lisa explains. “My grandmother always said it would give her a heart attack. And, of course, the kids jumped on that, saying, ‘Now you don’t want Nanny to have a heart attack.’”

So Lisa and her husband, Steve, bought workbooks from a learning supply store or bookstore and packed them along. Instead of spanking, misbehavior was handled with a worksheet of 100 math facts or a writing page.

“Having to do schoolwork on vacation is almost as bad as a spanking,” Lisa says, “so that was their correction. And our relatives didn’t have a problem with that.”

Rest Stop

“Kids stay up much later during the holidays, and they still wake up at 6 a.m.,” Lisa says. “Their bodies are just cranky and irritable, and they don’t have the strength to use self-control.”

She doesn’t force her children to take a nap, but she does ask them to lie down and rest during the day. They can read or listen to an Adventures in Odyssey tape, but about 90 percent of the time they end up sleeping for an hour or two.

“That’s just proof their bodies really need it,” Lisa says. “It cuts off about 80 percent of the need for discipline right there.”

Note of Appreciation

“We have a tradition of putting new stationery in our kids’ stockings at Christmas,” Lisa says. “It’s more fun to write thank-you notes if you’re writing on new stationery.”

She has her kids write a thank-you note before they play with the gift.

“It teaches a nice principle of thinking of other people,” Lisa says. “If someone took the time to buy you a gift, then you need to take the time to write and thank them right away.”

Boot Camp

“I know it sounds terrible, but make ‘survival’ the operative word during the holidays,” Lisa says.

Kids get a little crazy with all the hustle and bustle, music, lack of sleep and lots of candy and cookies. And parents tend to be a little stressed out and have less patience when they need it most.

“We do the best when we concentrate on surviving,” Lisa explains. “But as soon as we get home, we do three days of boot camp to get our children’s bodies, emotions and self-control back in shape.”

Lisa and Steve buy a jar of jellybeans or other inexpensive reward and re-establish their house rules. If a good choice is made, their child gets an immediate blessing. If a child makes a wrong choice, there’s an immediate correction.

“It usually just takes one day and everything is back to normal,” Lisa explains. “We get through the holidays and make as many happy memories as possible. Then when we get back home, things don’t seem as big or monumental or terrible.”

— Jesse Florea

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