Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) is a psychological impairment formed in the earliest years of life, initiated when an infant does not bond with his primary caregiver (generally after learning or feeling that the caregiver cannot be trusted to provide for his needs). This trauma is sometimes avoidable, as in cases of abuse and neglect, but it can also be triggered by unavoidable events in life, such as the death of a parent or a child’s unrelieved painful illness. Causes are varied but the results follow a tragic pattern.
Addressing and overcoming the disorder is a slow and difficult road, but it is possible to heal.
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Without a secure attachment to a caregiver in the first year of life, children may not successfully proceed through crucial developmental cycles in the second year. This can hinder their growth in a number of areas, including self-control, self-esteem, conscience and the ability to function in relationships.
Besides the obvious consequences of troubled future relationships, RAD can permanently alter the child’s developing brain and body, leading to distorted thought patterns, learning disabilities or chronic illness, as well as an inability to determine cause and effect. As these children grow up, their reactive behaviors include dependency in relationships, anti-social behavior, hopeless views of the world around them and an inability to deal with problems. Adults with RAD are three times more likely to commit a violent crime, as they frequently show a lack of conscience or remorse. They are also likely to perpetuate the disorder if they have their own children.
Teachers, daycare providers and parents become frustrated because these children do not respond to traditional methods of discipline and instruction. They are unresponsive to affection, especially from their mothers, act out aggressively toward people who start to get close to them emotionally, and yet behave overtly charming to strangers. These symptoms stem from the child’s fear of disappointment, lack of trust and subsequent need to establish all emotional relationships on his terms. Successful
interaction with these children requires a few steps back.
Developing an emotional bond with parents is the most basic goal of therapy
and treatment for unattached children, going back as far as necessary to resolve the relationships that hurt. Successful attachment therapy involves teaching these children how to think in new ways about themselves, their experiences and other people. It also teaches caregivers how to think about the children they are trying to help and their skills as a parent.
Your child needs your love, but he also needs you to aggressively pursue professional help in order to avoid a lifetime of emotional pain and serious family problems. Addressing and overcoming Reactive Attachment Disorder is a slow and difficult road, but it is possible to heal. Your child is worth it.
— Alexandra Lütz
