The U.S. government does not collect data regarding independent or private adoptions, so all current statistics are only estimates. But surveys reveal that roughly 120,000 to 130,000 children are adopted in the United States every year (about half of whom are adopted by family members or stepparents). Approximately one in three families actively pursuing adoption completes the process each year.

Adoption has changed considerably in recent decades, and adoptive parents may have more options than they thought (open or closed, international or domestic, preborn or foster care child, transracial and embryo). The focus of adoption professionals, and of research, is now on the child and her well-being, resulting in domestic adoptions today typically being left “open.” (There is a mutually agreed level of contact between the birth mother and adoptive family.) When secrets aren’t kept, the children adjust better emotionally without the torments of curiosity and guilt, and both the birth mother and adoptive family feel more trust in the other.

Families considering adoption need to carefully assess their desire to adopt and be in complete agreement before they begin. Consider all the possibilities before determining the best course, and then arrange a home study — either through an agency or a social worker. A critical step for all families is to assess their financial situation and to prepare for potential problems and risks. A free booklet, “How to Make Adoption an Affordable Option,” is available from the National Endowment for Financial Education.

Whether or not you are personally involved with adoption, your response and interaction with those who are can make a critical difference in how positive the experience is.