Dr. Dobson Answers Your Questions
Q. I have found it very hard to turn my kids loose and face the empty nest. I know I need to release them, but it is so difficult. Can you help me?
When you let go, you’ll find that a new relationship will be born.
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A. Humorist Erma Bombeck described this difficult process in terms that were helpful to me. She said that the task of raising kids is rather like trying to fly a kite on a day when the wind doesn’t blow. Mom and Dad run down the road pulling the cute little device at the end of a string. It bounces along the ground and shows no inclination of getting off the ground.
Eventually, and with much effort, they manage to lift it 15 feet in the air, but great danger suddenly looms. The kite dives toward electrical lines and twirls near trees. It is a scary moment. Will they ever get it safely on its way? Then, unexpectedly, a gust of wind catches the kite, and it sails upward. Mom and Dad feed out line as rapidly as they can.
The kite begins pulling the string, making it difficult to hold on. Inevitably, they reach the end of their line. What should they do now? The kite is demanding more freedom. It wants to go higher. Dad stands on his tiptoes and raises his hand to accommodate the tug. It is now grasped tenuously between his index finger and thumb, held upward toward the sky. Then the moment of release comes. The string slips through his fingers, and the kite soars majestically into God’s beautiful sky.
Mom and Dad stand gazing at their precious “baby,” who is now gleaming in the sun, a mere pinpoint of color on the horizon. They are proud of what they’ve done — but sad to realize that their job is finished. It was a labor of love. But where did the years go?
That is where you are today — standing on tiptoes and stretching toward the sky with the end of the string clutched between your fingers. It’s time to let go. And when you do, you’ll find that a new relationship will be born. Your parenting job is almost over. In its place will come a friendship that will have its own rewards.
Remember: The kite is going to break free one way or the other. It’s best that you release it when the time is right!
— Dr. James Dobson
This article was adapted from Complete Marriage and Family Home Reference Guide by Dr. James Dobson with the permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc. Copyright 2000 by James Dobson, Inc. All rights reserved. International copyright secured.
