Teaching Children to Be Peacemakers

False Ideas About Forgiveness

1. You need to feel like forgiving before you can really forgive. (Wrong. It’s a choice you make, not a feeling.)

2. Forgiveness means forgetting about what someone did to hurt you.

3. Forgiveness excuses the other person’s sin.

4. Forgiveness depends on getting a guarantee that someone won’t do the same wrong thing again.

Four Promises of Forgiveness

When you forgive someone, you are making several promises:

• I promise I will not dwell on what you did wrong. I will think good thoughts about you and do good for you.

• I promise I will not bring up this situation and use it against you.

• I promise I will not talk to others about what you did.

• I promise I will be friends with you again.

These promises may be summarized in a poem that a 4-year old can memorize:

Good thought
Hurt you not
Gossip never
Friends forever

From Peacemaking for Families by Ken Sande, a Focus on the Family book published by Tyndale House. Copyright © 2002 by Peacemaker® Ministries. Used with permission. See also The Young Peacemaker by Corlette Sande, published by Shepherd Press. For more information on Peacemaker® Ministries visit www.Peacemaker.net.

Do you have thoughts, questions, advice on this topic? Post your stories and comments in the forum for other parents to respond to. Enter the forum now.

On This Topic

• Introduction • A Slippery Slope • Conflict Is an Opportunity • The Five A's • Forgiveness Is a Choice • A Respectful Appeal • What It Takes