Q. Why do boys harass and intimidate each other?
A. Dr. James Dobson: Angela Phillips explained it like this: The effect of intimidation is to drag other children down to the same level of powerlessness, through fear. A child who lives in fear is unable to learn. The bully has then reduced his victim to his own dysfunctional level.
Here's another reason. The Journal of Developmental Psychology reported a study of 452 boys in the fourth, fifth, and sixth grades. It revealed that those who taunted weaker peers and were aggressive and rebellious at school were often the most popular with their classmates. Raw power and audacity in boys are the characteristics kids tend to admire.
Dr. Phillip Rodkin of Duke University explained why. He said, These boys may internalize the idea that aggression, popularity, and control naturally go together, and they may not hesitate to use physical aggression as a social strategy because it has worked in the past.
In other words, boys are rewarded socially for harassing kids who are below them in the pecking order, which probably explains why many of them do it. By the way, other studies showed that bratty and rebellious behavior among girls did not result in greater popularity. Only boys are admired for breaking the rules. One or more of them could belong to you!
Dr. James Dobson
Excerpted by permission from Bringing Up Boys (Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale House Publishers, 2001).
