Teenagers may not be scared off by facts, figures, and gory details. Even the most ominous warnings may not override an adolescent's belief in her own immortality, especially when other compelling emotions such as the need for peer acceptance are operating at full throttle.

You may improve the odds by making it clear that you consider the use of cigarettes, alcohol, or illegal drugs a very serious matter. Make sure the punishment fits the "crime," of course. For example, if your adolescent confesses that he tried a cigarette or a beer at a party and expresses sincere regret and an appropriate resolve to avoid a repeat performance, a heart-to-heart conversation and encouragement would be far more appropriate than summarily grounding him for six months.

But if your warnings repeatedly go unheeded, you will need to establish and enforce some meaningful consequences. Loss of driving, dating, or even phone privileges for an extended period of time may be in order.

You can make the bitter pill less threatening by pointing out the following:

1. He can easily avoid the penalty by staying clear of drugs and the people who use them.
2. Consistent responsible behavior leads to more privileges and independence. Irresponsible behavior leads to decreased independence and more parental control.
3. The drastic consequence can be used as a reason to get away from a bad situation. If a friend starts to exert pressure to smoke, drink, or use drugs, he can say, "Sorry, but I don't want to be stuck without transportation for the next six months."

—The Focus on the Family Physicians Resource Council, U.S.A.

Adapted from Parents' Guide to Teen Health,
a Focus on the Family publication.
Used by permission. All rights reserved.