When it comes to drugs, two adages are worth noting: "Children learn what they live" and "What parents allow in moderation their children will do in excess." While not absolute truths, these maxims reflect the reality that kids are looking to their parents for cues as to what is acceptable behavior, while at the same time developing the discernment required to understand what moderation is all about.

• Don't smoke and if you smoke, stop.
  If you smoke, your offspring will probably do likewise. But it's never too late to quit, and your decision to give up cigarettes will make an important statement to all the members of your family — especially if you are willing to hold yourself accountable to them.
• Think about the role of alcohol in your life.

1. If you consume alcohol at home, what role does it play in your life? Does it flow freely on a daily basis? Do you need a drink to unwind at the end of the day? Is it a necessary ingredient at every party or family get-together? If so, your children will get the picture that alcohol is a painkiller, tension reliever, and the life of the party, and they will likely use it in a similar fashion. For their sake (and yours), take whatever steps are necessary to live without alcohol.
2. If you drink modestly — an occasional glass of wine with dinner, a beer every other week, a few sips of champagne at a wedding — think carefully about whether or not you really need to consume alcohol at all. Many parents decide to abstain while rearing their children in order to send an unambiguous message to steer clear of it. Others feel that modeling modest, nonintoxicated use of alcohol (while speaking clearly against underage drinking, drunkenness, driving under the influence, and other irresponsible behaviors) equips children and teenagers to make sensible decisions later in life.

• Keep alcohol out of your house.
  Each family must weigh the options carefully and set its own standards. But if you or any blood relatives have a history of alcohol addiction (or any problem caused by drinking), make your home an alcohol-free zone and warn your adolescent that he or she may have a genetic predisposition toward alcoholism.
• Think about the impact of your family's habits on visitors or guests, including your teenager's friends. What might be perfectly harmless for you could prompt someone who has a potential for alcohol addiction to make a bad decision. All things considered, nothing is lost and much can be gained by abstaining.
• Think about your medicine cabinet. If you are stressed, upset, or uncomfortable, are d-r-u-g-s the way you spell r-e-l-i-e-f? Have you accumulated prescription narcotics and tranquilizers that you utilize freely when the going gets tough? Kids aren't blind. If they see the adults around them frequently taking "legitimate" drugs to dull their pain, why can't they use their own drugs of choice to do the same?

Even if you feel you have a legitimate need for painkillers (recurrent headaches, chronic back pain), you can become addicted to prescription drugs. Finding other ways to cope and working diligently to minimize the use of drugs for symptom relief should be priorities. Note: The appropriate use of antidepressants to treat the biochemistry of mood disorders does not represent a potential abuse situation. These medications are not addicting or habit-forming and are not sold on the street to create an artificial drug high.

• Don't use illegal drugs.
  If you use marijuana and other street drugs, whether for recreational purposes or because of an addiction problem, you are putting the parental stamp of approval not only on the drugs but also on breaking the law. For your own and your family's sake, seek help immediately and bring this dangerous behavior to an end.

—The Focus on the Family Physicians Resource Council, U.S.A.

Adapted from Parents' Guide to Teen Health,
a Focus on the Family publication.
Used by permission. All rights reserved.