We never went. After a while, I pretended not to hear him.

Blessing. That’s what Dad never gave me. Broken promises I got, with criticism added for good measure. But blessing, the special affirmation that fathers should bestow on their children, never passed between us. With three kids of my own, I struggle to give them something I never received.

One sunny morning last summer, I gathered my three children—Scott, 20; Peter, 18; and Carrie, 16—around the same kitchen table where six years earlier my former wife had told us of her plan to leave. The memory unnerved me. I fumbled with the coffee cups I had placed on the table. Picking one up, I turned it over and over and finally cleared my throat.

“Guys, do you recognize these mugs?” I said. “I use them for reminders. Each morning they prompt me to pray for the three of you. This family meeting is about precious promises God has given me for each of you.”

I turned to my daughter.

“Carrie, remember the Scripture written in your baby book? From Isaiah 30:15? ‘In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength.’ That verse marked your character for me. Those words truly describe you. Yours is a quiet and gentle spirit.”

I picked up the second cup and looked at my younger son.

“Pete, remember when your valedictorian address stole the show from Sen. Goode? God told me 18 years ago that you would be a man of powerful words. Doors will open because of your ability with words. Pete, when that time comes, make sure you have something worth saying.”

I picked up the third cup and spoke to my older son.

“Scott, before your life began, you were a whisper from God, a whisper from afar. That’s what your name means—from afar. I don’t understand all it foretells, but think of where you have been. To Kenya and Romania and to Beijing University in a few weeks, and possibly the Peace Corps after that. Son, I know your life is on track.”

Now I had their attention. “The precious promise I pray is that Christ will be fully formed in you,” I said in conclusion. “Each of you has strength. Surrender it to God. He will pour His Spirit through you like water on thirsty ground.”

While I don’t know what my kids thought of that makeshift blessing, I do know one thing: Divorce did not stop the good things God started with my kids. I know their lives are in His hands. And I tell them so every chance I get.