|
Faith Topics
The Essentials of a Healthy Home
Building Self-Esteem Through Affirmation
I dreaded my daughter’s teen years, fearing they would be an emotional roller coaster. During her fifth-grade year, however, I discovered the social scrambling and resulting emotional chaos came much sooner.
Following a parent-teacher meeting to discuss an ongoing social battle in which my daughter was a victim, the teacher said, “Fifth-grade girls can be some of the meanest people on the face of the earth.”
Preteens need lots of support at home to avoid having their self-esteem stomped on as they enter adolescence. Follow these tips and help your child “ace” the middle years.
Affirm, Affirm, and Affirm. Catch your children doing something right and praise them for it. Emphasize their positive qualities and behaviors. Be specific with your praise: “I appreciate you because …”, “I was pleased to see you …”, “Thank you for …”
To appreciate means “to raise in value.” Your verbal praise will raise your child’s self-esteem. Likewise, constant criticism will lower it. Console and Comfort. Recognize that your child may be undergoing intense emotional battles because of situations at school or with friends. Children face these challenges differently. Some slough them off; others are deeply hurt. You can help them by:
- Keeping the lines of communication open.
- Being a good listener.
- Acknowledging emotional pain.
- Saying “I love you.”
- Physical touching them — a back rub, a hug or an arm around the shoulders.
- Praying out loud so they can hear you interceding on their behalf.
Encourage. Remind them that difficult situations come and go. Point out that people often try to feel better about themselves by criticizing others. Encourage them to gain self-worth instead by remembering who they are in Christ. Suggest praying about difficult social situations and friendships. Remind them God is a forever friend.
Parents greatly influence children’s self-esteem. In general, parents with a good self-esteem raise children who view themselves positively. It takes time and effort, but it’s worth it. The more positive your children’s self-esteem before adolescence, the easier they will resist negative peer pressure.
— Candy Arrington
Do you have thoughts, questions, advice on this topic? Post your stories and comments in the forum for other parents to respond to. Enter the forum now.
|
