A lot of parents have fallen for the flawed thinking that quality time can make up for lack of quantity time. That may explain why parents average just five-and-a-half minutes of meaningful conversation with their children each day. Yet kids crave time with their parents.
Dr. James Dobson can understand why some parents cling to the belief that it’s not the quantity of time between parent and child that really matters; it’s the quality of time that makes the difference.
“There is a grain of truth in most popular notions,” Dr. Dobson says. “And this one is no exception.”
Parents who are angry, oppressive and unnurturing with their children don’t benefit their kids even if they spend 24 hours a day, seven days a week with them.
“But from that point forward,” Dr. Dobson says, “the quantity versus quality issue runs aground. Simply stated, that dichotomy will not be tolerated in any other area of our lives; why do we apply it only to children?”
This illustration makes the issue clear.
Let’s suppose you’ve looked forward all day to eating at the finest restaurant in town. You arrive and order the most expensive steak. Twenty minutes later the waiter returns to your table and sets down your plate, which contains a one-inch cube of steak in the center.
“Is this what you call a steak dinner?” you complain.
“Sir,” the waiter replies, “I recognize the portion is small, but that’s the finest corn-fed beef money can buy. You’ll never find a better bite of meat. I hope you understand it’s not the quantity that matters, it’s the quality that counts.”
“You would object, and for good reason,” Dr. Dobson says. “If quantity and quality are worthwhile ingredients in family relationships, why not give our kids both?
“Children deserve our time and the best we have to give them,” Dr. Dobson adds. “Tossing a ‘hungry’ child an occasional bite of steak, even if it is prime, corn-fed filet mignon, is insufficient.”
Enough said. Now please pass the A1 sauce.
— Jesse Florea
