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Entertainment Topics
The Benefits of Family Hobbies
Why Family Identity Matters
Kids need to belong. If they don’t feel like important members of your family,
they’ll look for other ways to play that role. The most obvious alternative
to family membership is the peer group, the extreme example being gangs.
We were never tempted to drugs or drinking because we had tasted the high of nature and the mountains, in the context of family love.
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On the website gangsandkids.com, ex-gang members serving long prison sentences
tell their stories in an attempt to discourage a new generation of teens from
making the same mistakes. Among the top reasons they say kids join is “Some
find a feeling of caring and attention in a gang. It becomes almost a family
to them.”
A 15-year-old boy looking for advice writes, “I would like to ask a prisoner
why he/she joined a gang besides respect or love. I was wondering if there are
other reasons why people today are joining. I was thinking about joining because
I feel like a misfit in my family. I am the only one in my family that makes
bad grades, does drugs, drinks etc. No one else in my family has done them.
(http://www.gangsandkids.com/gquestion0j.html)
My friend with the grown kids says they remember their outdoor adventures as
an antidote to the teen culture. Looking back they say, “We were never
tempted to drugs or drinking because we had tasted the high of nature and the
mountains, in the context of family love.” When kids identify with their
family they have:
- security from knowing they belong to a group
- strength — it’s easier to resist peer pressure when they know
other people beyond their friends are counting on them
- perspective — life is about more than the issues discussed in the
locker room
When we were dating we heard a pastor talk about the importance of teaching
his kids how to have genuine fun. He wanted them to so enjoy their time together
as a family, doing family activities, that when friends would come along to
invite his offspring to go carousing, breaking windows and other unlawful things,
they’d recognize the sham and say so: “Fun? That’s not fun!
Fun is skiing for the weekend, reading a good book or going to a ball game.”
If membership in your family is fun, challenging and important — something
valuable — your kids will be less likely to pull away.
— Candice Z. Watters
Do you have thoughts, questions, advice on this topic? Post your stories and comments in the forum for other parents to respond to. Enter the forum now.
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