It's just that sense of controlled mayhem that frightens parents. Martial arts are simply choreographed violence, aren't they? To a certain extent, yes. But then again, so are football, rugby, hockey and any number of other sports.

It's important to remember that with few exceptions, television and movies offer a horribly distorted view of martial arts. No sane parent would want his or her children to learn to kill or maim as casually and efficiently as Jet Li, Steven Seagal or Chuck Norris do in popular media. But in real life, martial arts couldn't be more different:

• Most martial arts teach students to avoid confrontation and violence if at all possible. An oft-repeated story in martial arts circles is that of a reporter assigned to interview a famous high-ranking martial artist, who was reluctant to show off for an interview.
  
  During the interview, the journalist accompanied the martial artist to a corner grocery store. As they were leaving, a drunk, belligerent man staggered into the martial artist, who politely stepped aside and apologized. The drunk man snarled, "I'll see you outside!" and left.
  
  The martial artist told the journalist, "Now you will see the very finest in self-defense." Turning to the store owner, he asked, "May I use your back door?"
  
  Martial arts training, belt tests and tournaments are intensely challenging and rewarding. Good martial arts instructors remind their students that, having faced and triumphed over such challenges, they have nothing to prove to anyone. This gives martial arts students — even children — the confidence to walk away from confrontation, taunting, foolish dares and so on, even if they get laughed at.

• Speaking of tournaments: If you've ever seen one of those horrifying full-contact, no-holds-barred or "Ultimate Fighting" matches on TV, relax. That's not what you're signing your kids up for. Tournaments do have sparring, but they require full safety gear and allow only light contact in sharply defined areas. Football or soccer are actually much more dangerous than martial arts practice or tournaments. Even though I'm an advanced student and help teach at our school, I've never been injured worse than a jammed finger. Sam got a fat lip once, but it was because he bumped into another student while horsing around before class!

• Martial arts simply are not for bullies. There are schools and teachers out there who encourage abusive behavior, but they're easily avoided. Most martial arts instructors who teach kids consider their primary responsibility to be character development, not skill development. Abusive behavior is simply not tolerated in Universal Kempo, and we take accountability in the matter seriously: We periodically request signed statements from their teachers and parents about their behavior at home and school.

Parents these days are rightly concerned about exposing their children to violence, especially on TV or in the movies. Yet most children, boys especially, are two-legged tidal waves of energy and aggression. Martial arts can offer a healthy, controlled way for children not only to release some of that energy, but also to learn to channel it into self-discipline and character development.

— Greg Hartman

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