If you wait until your child is walking out the door to go to college to discuss the dangers of pornography, it will be too late.
If they learn early that questions about sex or the body are off-limits, they may seek answers elsewhere...
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Unfortunately, our hyper-sexualized culture does not afford us the luxury of staying silent. Pornography is too pervasive, too accessible.
Even if we do everything within our power as parents to shield our children from pornography, statistics tell us that nearly every child will have some exposure to pornography by the age of 18.
You can reduce the chances of such exposure by developing a comprehensive Internet safety plan that includes filtering software, computer user rules and strong parental oversight.
However, this will only reduce the risk. Children can still encounter pornography at a friend's house, on television, or catch an eyeful when passing a newsstand. They can even be exposed to pornography using new technologies such as cell phones, iPods, and Playstations.
Parents must protect and prepare; shielding your child is just as important as equipping him or her for the inevitable exposure to harmful, sexually-explicit media.
Preparation Begins Early
When most parents think about sex education, they think of the proverbial "talk" or perhaps some curriculum offered at school. But the truth is that sex education always begins in the home.
From the moment of birth, children are learning about their bodies and relationships with other people. A newborn doesn't have advanced cognitive skills, but he or she quickly learns whether the world is safe or harsh by the amount of love, nurturing and affection he or she receives. Physical affection and playfulness between an infant and his or her parents teaches the basic concepts of love and tenderness. Meeting these needs early helps the child develop bonds of trust with his or her parents, which are important for later instruction. It also helps form concepts of appropriate and inappropriate touch.
Moving into Teachable Moments
As children grow older and begin to ask questions about the world around them, they will also be curious about their own bodies, the differences between boys and girls, and where babies come from. These are opportunities to speak openly with your child about the correct anatomical names for body parts and to describe God's beautiful plan for the expression of love between human beings. This can all be done with age-appropriate language and by explaining to your child that you will tell them more as they grow older.
When answering your child's questions, it is natural to feel a little embarrassed or nervous. But don't let this thwart your efforts. Even if you feel nervous, try not to act shocked or uncomfortable. Most children inquire out of innocent curiosity, but also perceive when they have crossed a boundary with their parents. If they learn early that questions about sex or the body are off-limits, they may seek answers elsewhere, which could expose them to very dangerous lies.
Using teachable moments to lay the groundwork for discussions about human sexuality isn't as difficult as it seems if you cultivate the habit of looking for these moments in your daily life. As your child grows older, any initial embarrassment or nervousness you once had tends to subside.
An Example of a Teachable Moment
A father was telling a story one day about someone he saw buying a Maxim magazine in the airport. His 10-year-old son was listening to the story, so the father paused to explain to his son that this particular magazine treated women poorly and did not respect them. His son replied, "Yes, Papa. I understand."
This father had already spent years laying the groundwork with his children by teaching them the beauty and dignity of men and women, and helping them to understand how God intended the sexes to relate to one another. His son immediately recognized this magazine was contrary to the truth taught to him by his father.
Exemplifying appropriate behavior and attitudes in the home is a significant part of teaching children how to recognize which media content and situations fall outside of God's plan for love and relationships.
Once the groundwork has been laid, you can begin teaching your child God's design for sexuality.
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