Parenting the Strong-Willed Child

1. You should not blame yourself for the temperament with which your child was born. She is simply a tough kid to handle, and your task is to match her stride for stride.

2. Your strong-willed child is in greater danger because of his inclination to test the limits and scale the walls. Your utmost diligence and wisdom will be required to deal with him. You simply have to be tougher than he is, but do it without being angry and oppressive.

3. If you fail to understand his lust for power and independence, you can exhaust your resources and bog down in guilt. It will benefit no one.

4. For parents who have just begun, take charge of your baby now, hold tightly to the reins of authority, and quickly begin building into her an attitude of respect and obedience. You will need every ounce of awe you can muster in coming years. Once you have established your right to lead, begin to let go of the reins systematically, year by year.

5. Don’t panic, even during the storms of adolescence. They never last forever. The sun will shine again, producing, perhaps, a beautiful rainbow over your spirit. You’re going to get through this.

6. Don’t let your child stray too far from you emotionally. Stay in touch. Don’t write him off, even when your every impulse is to do just that. He needs you now more than ever before.

7. Give that kid time to find herself, even if she appears not to be searching.

8. Most importantly, I urge you to hold your children before the Lord in fervent prayer day by day by day. Begin every morning with a prayer for wisdom and guidance.

— Dr. James C. Dobson

Adapted from The New Strong-Willed Child by Dr. James C. Dobson.
Copyright © 2004, Tyndale House Pubishers. All rights reserved. Used by permission.

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On This Topic

• Introduction • How to Lead • Wills are Born • How to Shape • How to Pray