Talking to Tweens About Love, Sex and Relationships

Delivering clear messages and taking time for conversations are critical during the adolescent years. Engage your tween with questions that will help him think through issues, such as modesty, flirting, body language and peer pressure.

Without engaging him, you are merely talking at him. No adolescent wants to feel as if he is being “sold” something. A number of parents have commented to me that they feel as if they are constantly having to sell an idea that is in their child’s best interest. Author and psychologist Tim Kimmell once told me that inspiring his adolescent child to make healthy decisions took a lot of thoughtful questions as a parent.

The most important decision our children can make is the choice to follow Christ. If we want our children to own their faith, we have to let them fail in a safe environment so we can support them and help them succeed when we release them into the world.

I’m not referring to sexual activity, but to life lessons that focus on self-control and decision-making so your tween can navigate the pressures of the teen years with greater confidence. Consider forming a parent support group or Bible study with other parents of tweens to discuss these issues.

— Amy Stephens

Last updated: May 2005

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On This Topic

• Introduction • Connection • Transition • Communication • Benefits of Abstinence • Themes to Touch on

Preparing for Adolescence Help your child through the turbulent "growing pains" years with the wisdom of Dr. Dobson. In this essential paperback, he speaks directly and sincerely to adolescents about the topics that trouble them the most.