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Development Topics
Talking to Your Child About the Facts of Life
Get Talking
We need to be intentional about developing life-giving connections with our children. I’ve had some of my most meaningful conversations with my son in the car. It’s a safe place for him after enduring a difficult soccer practice, being called a name on the playground or just experiencing growing pains. I’ve made stops at the ice cream parlor when I’ve sensed my son was heavyhearted, and I’ve stopped by the batting cages when he has needed to blow off steam.
Don’t miss an opportunity to connect with your child, even if it means rearranging your life. Research shows that a strong parent/child relationship is the best preventative a child has against high-risk behavior and negative attitudes.
So take time to talk — not lecture. Pray together — don’t sermonize. Share jokes and laugh. Cry and show your vulnerability. Apologize when you’re wrong. Let your child know you are his biggest advocate and cheerleader while also setting firm boundaries.
Above all, listen. I used to think I knew everything about my son until I rearranged my schedule and started to really listen to him. I found out that my son had a great sense of humor and was wise and sensitive for his young age. So sensitive, he rarely let me see this side of him if he thought I was having a stressful day. It was an immense wake-up call for me.
Develop healthy communication now with your child. When he transitions to puberty, you will have already established an “open door policy” with him.
— Amy Stephens
Last updated: May 2005
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