God designed boys to be more aggressive, excitable and wild in their behavior. Despite the claims made a generation ago, boys are different.
If we let boys run completely wild, we run the risk of losing our boys and creating monsters. If we attempt to eliminate their aggressive behavior, however, we can inadvertently confuse, frustrate and even wound our boys.
Ideally, we need to celebrate and shape and civilize their behaviors. How?
1. Explore the seven principles for bringing up boys. These principles are pivotal! Learn all you can about how to embrace and apply them.
2. Understand the ways that boys are “hardwired” differently than girls. When it becomes appropriate (ages 8-12), begin to discuss some of these physiological differences with your boy.
3. Allow your boy to play with toys differently than girls do. As long as he’s not disobedient, selfish, hurtful or destructive, there’s no “right” or “wrong” way to play with toys.
4. Don’t punish your boy when he does something crazy. Instead, see the humor in the situation and encourage your son to “always remember what you did today so you can tell your children some day.” Give him a snack and then decide whether this is a teachable moment to discuss what he’s learned. If he’s embarrassed or hurt, resist the temptation to drive the point home right then. Instead, the next day find a way to channel his energies in a constructive way.
5. “Play defense” on your boy’s behalf. Limit your boy’s exposure to harmful and enticing messages shouted at him from movies, television, music, the Internet, video games, radio and activists promoting “safe sex” and homosexuality.
6. “Play offense” on your boy’s behalf. Parents can do that if they “capitalize on the impressionable years of childhood by instilling in their sons the antecedents of character,” says Dr. James Dobson. The more time you spend with your boy, the better.
7. The assignment of every mother and father of boys? Dr. Dobson says it is “to transform their boys from immature and flighty youngsters into honest, caring men who will be respectful of women, loyal and faithful in marriage, and secure in their masculinity. And of course, the ultimate goal for people of faith is to give each child an understanding of Scripture and a lifelong passion for Jesus Christ.”
8. Make a habit of praying for your son. Nothing will mean more to your boy when he is older than discovering that you cared enough to frequently ask God to protect him, change his heart, bless him, bless others through him, and transform him into an outstanding young man someday.
