A message from Dr. James Dobson:
“To every single mother … let me emphasize first that you have an invaluable resource in our heavenly Father. He created your children and they are precious to Him. How do I know that? Because He said repeatedly in His Word that He has a special tenderness for fatherless children and their mothers. There are many references in Scripture to their plight.…
“My own wife, Shirley, was a product of a broken home. Her father was an alcoholic who abused the family and squandered their meager resources in a local bar. Soon, the marriage ended in divorce. At that critical moment, Shirley’s mom recognized that she was going to need help raising her two kids alone, so she sent them to a little evangelical church in the neighborhood. There they met Jesus Christ and found the stability they lacked at home.…
“Until a good man comes along, you as a single mother must make an all-out effort to find a father-substitute for your boys. An uncle or a neighbor or a coach or a musical director or a Sunday-school teacher may do the trick. Placing your boys under the influence of such a man for even a single hour per week can make a great difference. Get them involved in Boy Scouts, Boys Club, soccer, or Little League. Give your boys biographies, and take them to movies or rent videos that focus on strong masculine (but moral) heroes. However you choose to solve the problem, do not let the years go by without a man’s influence in the lives of your boys.…
“There are many … ministries that will help … as boys get
older, including Young Life, Youth for Christ, and Youth Builders. For
a more detailed list of possibilities, see the Web site provided at www.youthworkers.net."
Additional advice from Dr. Dobson:
1. Affirm your son, but don’t become too enmeshed in his life.
2. Don’t trash your son’s father, even if it’s his fault that you’re a single parent. Your son needs to see his father positively.
3. Even if you feel guilty for not providing adequately for your children, don’t become permissive and namby-pamby. They need boundaries even more than the children of intact families.
4. Don’t abdicate part of your parental role to a take-charge son or daughter. Any such abdication will come back to haunt you.
5. Do little things to remind your children that you love
them.
6. Enlist the help of your children’s grandparents.
7. Never forget the lasting influence of a godly
mother.
