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Development Topics
Toddlerhood — Dr. Dobson Answers Your Questions
Sexual Exploration
Q: We found our daughter in a situation with a friend’s little boy who is 7 years old. They were in the closet. She was just beginning to take her pants down, and he already had opened his pants. I was shocked, so I didn’t know what to do. The mother of the boy chose to pass it off as a natural thing and said not to worry about it. I know it only happened one time with that boy, but then last summer it also happened with one of her cousins who’s a little bit older than her. What do you think?
A: The mother of the boy is both right and wrong. She’s right in saying that it’s natural. It’s natural in the sense that it happens to most kids, but she’s wrong in the sense that it’s no big deal because it must be stopped. Nearly every kid will experiment in that way. I know very few youngsters that don’t at some time or another explore the bodies of the opposite sex because they want to know what they look like.
On the other hand, it is not healthy for a youngster that age to be exploited, taken advantage of or ushered into that sexual reality. I think you need to deal with it, not with shock, anger or great emotion, but with a firm authority and say, “Jennifer, this is not something that we do. It’s just not right. Your body is yours, but it’s not to be seen outside of your family. This is not what God wants you to do, and it’s not what I want you to do. And you must not do it again.”
Secondly, I’d take steps to make sure the 7-year-old boy does not have access to her in that way again. If it ever recurred with that same boy, it is time for punishment because then it becomes a conscious disobedience instead of just an exploration.
Do you have thoughts, questions, advice on this topic? Post your stories and comments in the forum for other parents to respond to. Enter the forum now.
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