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Development Topics
The Overprotected Child
Results of Overprotection
Does a child prosper in an overprotective atmosphere? Of course not. The mother is giving of herself totally, which seems the loving thing to do. However, she is allowing her child to fall behind in the normal timetable in preparation for his ultimate release as a young adult.
When the child turns ten years old, he won’t know how to resolve conflict with his peers. In fact, he’s more likely to be rejected by his peers because of his low self-confidence and inability to stand up for himself. He won’t know how to "give" to someone else, for he has only thought of himself. He will find it hard to make decisions or to exercise self-discipline.
A few years later he will be an adolescent completely unprepared for freedom and responsibility. His future spouse is in for some surprises I shudder to contemplate.
Parents must gain freedom from their fear and guilt about transferring responsibility to their children and allowing them to experience pain. As long as parents are bound in the cycle of overprotection, then their children remain hopelessly bound to them as well. The two are knotted to each other in a paralyzing interdependency that stifles growth and development.
— Dr. James Dobson
Adapted from The New Hide or Seek: Building Confidence in Your Child
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