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Development Topics
Raising Thinking Kids
Ask parents what worries them most about their children, and you’ll probably discover many common concerns.
- “I want my daughter to adjust well to school and make a commitment to not only stay in school but stay involved in school.”
- “I want my son to make good friends and stay away from the bad crowd.”
- “I don’t want my kids to resort to violence to solve a problem.”
Children have their own worries. Ask kids what they’re most concerned about, and they’ll most likely say: - “I’m worried about getting picked on by bullies.”
- “I want to be able to stand up for myself.”
The common thread among these hopes and fears is clear. What parents want for their children — and children want for themselves — is to be able to make good decisions and to resolve conflict, whether the conflict is between peers or with teachers and parents. Here’s a brief list of what helps children make good choices about their lives as they approach the preteen and teen years:
Parents utilize several approaches to teach their children these ideas. After listening to and studying parents for years, I’ve concluded that much of the time they resort to one of three strategies: power, suggestions or explanations.
Every child can learn to solve his or her own people-problems by practicing a series of thinking skills from a program I’ve developed called “I Can Problem Solve” (ICPS).
The goal of ICPS is to help poor problem solvers and to encourage the continued growth of children who show early signs of proficient problem-solving. With practice and encouragement, your children can learn to think for themselves, make good decisions on their own and become good problem-solvers. — Myrna B. Shure, Ph.D.
Adapted with permission of Henry Holt and Company from Raising a Thinking Preteen. Copyright © 2000 by Myrna B. Shure, Ph.D. All rights reserved.
Do you have thoughts, questions, advice on this topic? Post your stories and comments in the forum for other parents to respond to. Enter the forum now.
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