I used to dread Sunday mornings. I loved going to church, but I hated dropping off my children in the nursery. The crying would start when we entered the building. By the time I handed them off, the screams had usually reached blood-curdling volumes.
Today, however, my three young boys look forward to church every week and barely even notice I’m gone. I don’t profess to have the miracle cure for separation anxiety, but I can share some tried and true strategies.
Do a dry run. Leave your child in a room by herself while you peek around the corner or ask Grandma to watch her for an hour. Your child will soon understand that your leaving doesn’t mean you aren’t coming back.
Get to know the surroundings. Spend a few minutes playing with your child in the new setting. If possible, volunteer to help out in the nursery for a week or two so your child will have an opportunity to get used to the environment.
Don’t sneak out. While making the departure a bit easier, it won’t help in the long run. Your child needs to learn to cope with your absence. Say, “I’ll be back in a few minutes” in a cheerful voice, blow a kiss and walk away smiling — even though inside you may feel like crying.
Watch your watch. When you drop off your child, let the caregivers know you will return shortly. If your child is a real screamer, like all three of mine were, make the time short. I started with 10 minutes and added five or 10 each week. After a few months, my children could survive the entire church service without even a whimper.
Pass off the dropping off. Have the parent who is gone more put your baby into child care. My children cried less when their daddy took them to the nursery.
Hang in there. When you feel as though your heart is going to break or you’re about explode with frustration, keep in mind that your child will grow out of this stage. So as you comfort your baby, give her a few extra snuggles to remind her that no matter where you are, you always love her.
—Lisa Brock
