Many parents wait for the day when their children, like Alison, become more responsible and independent. However, there are many hurdles to jump before we can send our kids off to the store for groceries.

On the road to independence, most parents develop expectations for their child’s behavior or level of responsibility based on their child’s age. It makes sense that a child’s age will be one of the first factors that parents consider. (We can’t expect a 1-year-old to fold laundry.)

But parents must also keep in mind three other important factors when building expectations for children’s behavior (see Rules That Work), level of responsibility (see Expectations for Household Chores) and independence (see Expectations for Playtime). These factors are:

• Temperament: Some children are easygoing and flexible while others have a hard time adjusting to new circumstances or accepting new responsibilities. Modify your expectations to meet your child’s unique nature.

• Abilities. Some kids will have no problem carefully setting the dinner table while others may easily drop fragile dishes. Let your child’s natural abilities be your guide. Children with physical or mental disabilities may need you to adjust your expectations.

• Environment. Gentle coaxing and praise from family members can build confidence in children and encourage them to accept more responsibility. Older siblings can act as role models, leading younger children to desire more independence at an earlier age.